Too often our minds are occupied with sentiments of frustration, sadness, bewilderment, or anger. All churn our insides, leaving us ragged and bothered. We can’t sleep. We’re irritable. And for the most part, it feels like our inner selves are a torn muddy battleground, dark and grey. Sighing, we look in the mirror, saying “Peace. I just want peace.” To find peace is to seek some means by which to calm our spirit. It’ll be okay, we say to ourselves.

Being in Control

And one of the first things we need to remember is bound to the idea of control. Sometimes we have little to no control over what is happening to us. Maybe we’re losing our job. Maybe our marriage is coming to an end. Maybe we’ve just been diagnosed with an ailment that will promise to try our very soul. Maybe. But we always have, and will never lose, our control over how we respond. No one can control that aspect of our behaviour. How are we going to bear up to whatever is occurring to us? There’s no harm in taking a moment to cry. Breathlessly weep if we feel the need to do so. Although, afterwards, we need to dry our tears and then raise our heads high. Then, walking tall, we can say with assurance that whatever comes our way, we will never be brought down. As a result, we are at peace with ourselves.

Having Patience

All of this does not necessarily come to us immediately. Sometimes it requires we look deep within to try and understand what are the drivers for our feelings. In any case, it will demand patience. This is not having patience for anyone, but rather for ourselves, often the most difficult task for us. Sometimes, it takes time to realise something about which we’ve been troubled is out of our control and there is nothing we can do—yet. Perhaps, we need to look at things from another perspective and if we do, a solution may materialise—again, in time. In any case, what we do know is that time is our loyal ally. Again, we can find peace, having accepted what needs to be done and that we must always be patient.

Taking Time for Ourselves

Time is our ally and it is essential that we invest some of it in ourselves. There is nothing wrong with spending time doing something we truly enjoy. Whether it’s a hobby, going for a walk or bike ride, or reading a book, we owe it to ourselves to just be. Periodically, there may be a tug of war in our hearts and minds. Worries about things we should or should not have done, things we needn’t have said and so on plague our minds. To be at peace with ourselves means we are in a state of quiet and calm. So, we must focus on ourselves and, for instance, accept what has happened, whatever that may be, and seek to understand why it did happen and how to alter things in the future.

Taking Time to Look Within

And at some point in our lives, we need to also take time to reflect and look within ourselves, answering some probing and sometimes difficult questions. In what do we believe? If we have an answer to that question, then why do we believe the things we do? Do we feel ourselves to be a part of something greater than ourselves and if so, what is it? And if not, why? What is important to us? What do we value? What do we want to change in our lives and how can we go about doing so? Is there anything for which we would give our lives? We need to explore our own thoughts without making any pre-judgements, always remembering to be fair and kind with others as much as ourselves.

Being With Nature

There’s something truly grounding about being with nature. In a certain way, it’s almost like coming home. We spend the majority of our lives surrounded by everything made intentionally by a human—our computers, phones, the pleasures in our homes and so on. But every now and then, we need to be in a place that was not purposely created and just developed on its own. If we do, we can be in touch with the energy and vibrations that genuinely power our world. We can watch whales feeding in the ocean, lifting their enormous bodies as they rise below circling caplin. Perhaps, we may be able to watch gannets careering down and plummeting into the water, only to rise to the surface with their delicious prize in their mouths. They are simply being. Yet, we are still humbled by the deep authenticity of the moment. We must learn from these experiences and be in peace.

Trust

Finally, to be at peace, we need to be able to open ourselves to the world and trust. We are surrounded by people who are intent on telling us what we want to hear. At other times, people are explaining things to us with great passion in order to only achieve a particular end. What we need to do is find the people in whose words we can believe. We can be confident their comments are intended with our best interests in mind, words buoyed by a deep and profound integrity, dignity, kindness and compassion. In our various circle of friends, there may be only one. But hold them dear. For they are true and loyal and when you are most in need, they will always be willing to extend a hand.