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Month: October 2023

It’s All About Making Connections

It’s All About Making Connections

Image by Madalin Calita from Pixabay

For many of us, the connections we make are the most invigorating and vitalising aspects of our lives. We think of our family members—both two- and four-legged—friends, as well as those strangers with whom, for whatever reason, we made a meaningful connection.

In some instances, those connections are made with other elements of nature, our inherent union with it it energised and strengthened. We may enjoy a walk along the coast with the waves rushing on and offshore thrilled by the sound of its rustle and swish. Some may simply enjoy puttering around in their garden during the early morning—that’ll do.

But what happens when we lack this vital anchor of connection in our lives? Well, we’re often left lonely and adrift.


Loneliness is very complex. An online dictionary defines it as “being without company” while another regards it as “Dejected by the awareness of being alone.” The latter is likely more on the mark. I think we can all agree there is an element of perception that is crucial in determining if we are “lonely.”

Finally, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines it as the emotional distress we feel when our inherent needs for intimacy and companionship are not met.

One site described several causes for loneliness that included the death of a close friend or family member, illness or disability and working alone.

Loneliness can be either transient or chronic, differing in the length of time it is experienced. Transient being shorter periods while the latter being counted sometimes in years. It is more a state of mind, completely disconnected from our physical surroundings.

Some emphasise how it’s possible to still feel lonely despite being surrounded by people. You could be an elderly person living alone, a single parent taking care of youngsters, or a teenager navigating growing up. For whatever reason, you may be assailed by a feeling of unwanted isolation: loneliness.

I could be oversimplifying the idea of loneliness. Still, it seems to be associated with a lack of deep and meaningful connections.

To be connected is one of the most wonderful experiences. And it is here where the concept of oneness is key, for connection and interconnectedness play an integral role in oneness. Can this way of thinking and being not feature in helping to prevent us from feeling lonely and alone?

Inherent Connection in Oneness

What does it mean to connect? Again, a look at the dictionary brings up words such as “linked together”, “associated”, “unite” or “meaningfully related.” One of the most beautiful forms of a more intense connection is commonly known as “oneness.” It’s a sentiment accessible to one and all, whether in a crowd or alone, for hours on end for just a moment.

Kristine Klussman offers some examples of oneness.

  • The awe and significance or insignificance you feel when gazing up at the stars.
  • A silent, sudden awareness that strangers on the subway are really your brothers and sisters.
  • The realization that others have many of the same dreams and heartaches that you have.
  • A sense that you are in sync with the universe, and breathing through the lungs of the earth

These are only a few, but I think you likely get the picture. They provide us with an idea of how it’s possible to feel intensely connected with the universe, with one another, or with some element within ourselves.

And that’s the thing. When we do, the feelings of loneliness have less of an opportunity to gain purchase. Why? Because we feel utterly connected to one and all.

Loneliness may thrive and strengthen when we are deprived of meaningful connection. Although, to be filled with a sentiment of oneness is the essence of meaningful connection. Once this occurs, sentiments such as loneliness lose their hold on our hearts.

It’s not going to happen immediately, the thought of simply running out to catch a beautiful sunrise and that’d be it. But what is essential perhaps, is maybe gazing at that gorgeous sunrise and reminding ourselves of our innate connectedness with the universe. Yes indeed, we’re all in this together.

That innate connectedness is always there, it’s just we don’t always remember that.


Klussman, Kristine 2023 “Find The Meaning of Connection Through Oneness”

Madeson, Melissa 2023 “How to Overcome Loneliness According to Psychology”

Modglin, Lindsay and Deborah Courtney 2023 “What Is Loneliness? Causes, Effects And Prevention”

Sometimes It’s Just a Matter of Waiting

Sometimes It’s Just a Matter of Waiting

Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash.

Misty gazed at the open road ahead of her thinking how it may well be very different for her now she was out of work. It’ll remain to be seen how much of an “open road” lay ahead for her. She still felt irritated by that man. But for better or for for worse, it was all over. She drove along, finding a little joy in the empty road. It was Thanksgiving weekend and so everyone who had some place to go was no doubt already there. She shifted a little, getting a little more comfortable in her seat.

Misty was sure most of the people at the office where she worked probably thought she was mad. Although, no one could say he didn’t have it coming. The writing was on the wall. Anyone with eyes to see would know she and her boss were not on the same page, as it were. They weren’t even in the same book, never mind the page.

So, her actions weren’t so surprising. Misty smiled when she thought of what she’d called him—a stuck up loudmouth with more money than sense. She’d explained in detail why he was being such a fool and before he could sack her, she’d quit. She was livid. It was the first time in her life she’d ever said anything like that. Misty thought, it may be the first time she’d really ever stood up for herself. And boy, did she do a good job. Sure, she hadn’t a clue what she was going to do now that she was out of work. But there was no sense worrying about it now.

Misty had tended to be quiet and unobtrusive. Everyone had always called her the little mouse in the corner. That’s where her little spot was located, all of them with their own space separated by a sea of dividers in a windowless room. The place had no heart. Besides, folks had always told her she was wasted there. Well, enough of it all.

Spotting a gravel road going off to the left, Misty thought, why not explore a little. There were little spots of grass here and there on the edge and so she knew it wasn’t a well-travelled road. It was beautiful, the trees were fairly dense, some spruce, some larch and bits and bobs of everything else.

Image by Olavi Anttila from Pixabay

She was lost amidst the beauty of the woods with its motley shades of green, stumps of trees partially shrouded with a mantle of moss. Through the trees she could see the sun shining on what must be a lovely meadow.

Just up ahead, she spotted a car off to the side. Seemed strange that anyone should be stopped along the road. Misty hadn’t expected to see anyone. Pulling in behind the car, she could see there was a driver. Guessing at the hat, it was likely an older gentleman. “Hello, sir?” The man was just staring ahead and only after she repeated her words, did he notice her.

“Oh, sorry, my dear. I didn’t quite catch what you were saying.”

“That’s all right. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. You’re stopped and so I just wasn’t sure.” He smiled at her, his eyes red and glazed.

“Not to worry, my dear.” She looked into the woods, but she wasn’t quite sure why he was there.

“I don’t mean to pry, but is there anything with which I could help you? I there something wrong with your car. I might be able to help you.”

“O, no dear.” He paused for a moment and then looked up at her. “It’s no matter. I’d planned to go to the meadow … you can probably see it just on the other side of the trees.” he said, point towards it. “There used to be more of a pathway there, years ago. More people used to use it before.”

“Yeah, so it’s kinda grown in more,” she said, looking at the woods.

“I was going to take these,” he said, showing her the bouquet of flowers.

“O, they’re beautiful. May I ask what’s the occasion?” she said, smiling at him. He looked at her and then quickly glanced away, like he was somehow ashamed or embarrassed about something.

“Well, it’s nothing. I was going to lay then at the big rock.” He looked towards the meadow. “There it is,” he said, pointing. “It’s not easy to maybe see from here, but that’s where I used to always meet Abigail.” His eyes sparkled as he told Misty.

“Who’s Abigail?” Misty said, even though, with heavy heart, she was fairly sure she knew who she was. “Is she your wife?” He nodded and smiled, his eyes moistened.

“Yes. Yes. Well, was.” He looked down for a moment, wiping his eyes. “When we were first courting, that was always a favourite place. She passed away just this past August.”

‘O, I’m so sorry for your loss.,” Misty said, her eyes meeting his. “So, you were going to take the flowers and place them near the rock where you used to meet the love of your life.” He nodded, looking away. “Hey, it may not be as meaningful, but why don’t you let me take the flowers to the rock in the meadow?” He looked at Misty and then turned to look at the meadow. “I can at least place them there in Abigail’s memory.” He looked again at Misty. She could see he was giving it some thought.

“Well, okay, if you don’t mind. It’d be most kind of you.”

“It’d entirely be my pleasure. I even have my hiking stick in my car and that should help me get through any tangles I might find. She went back to her car and grabbed her hiking stick. Coming back, he’d gotten out of his car. He was a tall fellow, but he’d clearly dressed for the occasion. “My, don’t you look smart. Abigail would be most pleased.” He smiled, bashfully lowering his head with a touch of a smile.

“Here are the flowers. You take care going in there.”

“Not to worry. I’m a volunteer with the Wilderness Rescue Team and so I know more than enough about being careful,” she said, smiling at him.

“Just so you do.” She took the flowers, wading into the brush. Walking, Misty realised she could actually make out where the path to the meadow had once been. So, that made things a little easier. At one point, she turned around and waved to him, realising she hadn’t even introduced herself and asked his name. Then she thought how names aren’t always as important as many might think. Making it to the meadow, it opened into an expanse of wildflowers interspersed with an array of bushes, some floral, others not.

After the day she’s had, being in the meadow was like a moment in heaven. She raised her head to the sky and twirled around. She could see what drew everyone to this place. Giggling, she made her way to the rock where budding love had blossomed however many decades ago. There was a little overhang on the rock where she placed the flowers. She took out her phone and took a photograph so she could show him. He’d be pleased.

When she made it back to the road, he was waiting. She smiled at him.

“O, that’s a beautiful spot,” she said.

“Yes indeed. It was a very popular spot decades ago,” he said.

“And here,” Misty said, taking out her phone. “I took a photograph for you,” she said showing it to him. He took the phone, smiling, eyes glazing over.

“Thank you so very, very much. My Abigail will be so very pleased. We loved this place,” he said squinting as he looked up into the sky, sunshine cascading down. “Thank you.”

“Come here,” she said, opening her arms to give him a hug. “You can’t believe what a horrible day this was before I met you. But y’know, if it hadn’t been so horrible, I wouldn’t have been here to meet you and give you a hand. So, thank you for all you’ve done for me. Funny the way the world works.”

“That’s why we never do know in the end. Sometimes it’s just a matter of waiting and the most unpleasant of days will yet transform.”